


Closure

by hadesisrad



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Closure, F/M, Implied/Referenced Sex, Light Angst, M/M, POV Nymphadora Tonks, metamorphic abilities, past wolfstar - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:12:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29497080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hadesisrad/pseuds/hadesisrad
Summary: How much can a man be involved in his current relationship when he hasn't say goodbye to his previous lover ?__In which Dora loves her husband, and gives him the chance to get closure.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks
Kudos: 3





	Closure

I will hold you through the night. I will assume his shape if that is what you need, my love. I will ignore the pain that's twists my gut when it is his name that you call out to at night, I will disregard the spark in your eyes when somedays, my hair is black and my eyes bright blue. I won't ever admit that I do as such so that you would look at me with at least a little bit of the passion you held in your eyes when you looked at him. I can only hope that you married me out of love, and not because you were chasing someone's ghost in my changing features. I know that hope to be futile, however, I know that you are still his. 

You never ask me to change my hair, my eyes, or my breast when we make love; I know that you would feel bad about it, and I know that I would hate to hear you call his name when you are in me, but I cannot stand to watch you shake on our bed, full of all the things you had yet to tell him. 

"Look at me and call his name" I said once, and you called me crazy, crazy to think that you would rather have him near you than me. I may be younger than you, I might not entirely grasp what you were to each other, but I know that I am right when I tell you to face him.

So I will hold you through the night. This one or a hundred others, until you understand what I understood the first time I laid eyes on you. Until you accept that all the things left unsaid are eating you up, and that your pain causes mine. Maybe it is selfish of me to push you like that, but I am your wife: I want you, and I want you to want me, have me, without his ghost in the back of your mind. 

So "Look at me and call his name" I say again, when I find you folded onto yourself in one of the corners of our room. You hold up your head and your gaze holds mine.

"Siruis" you say, and my skin pales, my hair lengthen and darken. I close my eyes to open them blue, to see the tears that flow on your cheeks, the tremor in your frame as I approach. You hold out your hand to the side of my face, stroke a sharp cheekbone, and lower your finger to my lips, now a tiny bit fuller. "Sirius" you say again, hoping for an answer, I think, but I won't give it. You know I can change my voice, and I knew his well enough to do so, but I can't.

"I'm sorry" your voice is thin. "I'm so sorry, love." I close my eyes for a second, resting the weight of my head in your hand. I feel your kiss on ~~my~~ his face, and it's adoring, sweet as a knife jabbing my heart, so I pull back slightly, pull you off the floor with me, and you fall into ~~my~~ his arms. I hold you, because you need it, because I vowed to be with you through pain. I do not want to know if you are even aware of the words falling from your lips onto ~~my~~ his ears, if you are aware that each loving syllables you utter feels like being cursed again, and again, and again for what feels like hours. 

When the flow of words stops, your embrace gets tighter, and I know it is an effort to keep ~~me~~ him close to you; yet you are the one to step away, just enough for me to be able to watch you face. You are red, wet from tears, and there's is so much pain there that I wish I could wipe away with just one kiss of mine. Your smile is weak, but your hands are firm as they hold ~~my~~ his face.

"Thank you" you say, and I do not know who you are thanking exactly. "Sorry" you say once again, and I roll my eyes, breaking the role I said I would put on. Your smile grows more assured. "Come back", and I know it is me you are talking to, so I do. I come back, and the spark of your eyes is mine, your lips kiss on the corner of _my_ mouth, and it is me you embrace.

It is me you kiss, me that you undress, me that you love.

It is I who cries as you lips kiss my hands, as you body lays next to mine, as you arms gather me against your chest.

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote it and posted it in the same hour, so hopefully it's not too terrible!


End file.
